‘I Needed to be a Nice Husband As a result of I Needed Her to be Blissful’

‘I Needed to be a Nice Husband As a result of I Needed Her to be Blissful’


The Birmingham Instances

“You Had Me at Hey’’ highlights married {couples} and the love that binds them. If you want to be thought-about for a future “Hey’’ column, or know somebody, please ship nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Embrace the couple’s title, contact quantity(s) and what makes their love story distinctive.


Reside: Trussville

Married:  Might 6, 1996

Met: 1981. Doug was 9 years previous, and Shay was 12.

“Her cousin was married to my cousin and we each had been within the wedding ceremony collectively. Our households knew one another however we didn’t sustain with each other, so later after we stumbled upon one another (for the second time at an area financial institution), we realized our households knew one another” mentioned Doug.

Doug remembered approaching Shay. “She was working in a division with a buddy of mine. I approached her on a dare as a result of he instructed me that she wouldn’t give me her quantity.”

Doug recalled seeing Shay within the break room and detailed what he was carrying after we requested her for her quantity, “Blue Guess denims, model new white Tretorns, and look what occurred. She couldn’t resist the sport,” he laughed.

Shay mentioned she “… had been seeing him strolling previous out and in of the breakroom all the time.  The very first thing I seen about him was that he dressed good. “

Doug known as Shay two days later.  “I wasn’t going to name the primary night time, it seemed determined,” mentioned Doug.  Shay mentioned from the second of the decision they talked all night time and we’ve been collectively ever since. “

First date:  January 1993, a short time after they exchanged cellphone numbers and talked on the cellphone, Doug and Shay had their first date at Chili’s. “I don’t keep in mind what I wore, I simply know I used to be dressed actually cute, “ mentioned Shay.  “Yeah, she was dressed cute” agreed Doug.

Each Shay and Doug say they don’t recall a lot from the date, however they do keep in mind it was a fantastic day as a result of they talked rather a lot and stayed out a very long time.

The flip: Whereas they had been going via the early levels of attending to know one another, Shay felt that Doug was the one.  “I sort of knew from early on that he was the one. It was simply one thing about it… It was like someday we had been (abruptly) married. It was like a film. In all probability like a month into us relationship, I knew he was going to be my husband” Shay mentioned.

After they first met, each Doug and Shay had been in relationships. “She had a boyfriend, and I had a girlfriend. So, once I known as her that first time, I wasn’t actually making an attempt to speak to her. I simply had the quantity and I known as to only have a dialog. We weren’t making an attempt to be collectively and since we had nothing to cover, we had been brutally sincere (with one another).”

Doug mentioned their honesty set a fantastic basis. They might ultimately break up with their vital others on the time. “Neither one in all us got here out and mentioned that we had been damaged up with our ( companions), we simply continued to hangout,” mentioned Shay.

“After we had been collectively, we knew we had been collectively. He didn’t have to return and say ‘you’re my girlfriend.’ It was simply identified” mentioned Shay.

The proposal: At Communicare Professional Rehab, initially positioned on Freeway 280, which has since closed and the place Shay labored. Doug acquired down on one knee and proposed. The Taylors mentioned they don’t recall after they acquired engaged however Doug says there are two completely different tales on the way it unfolded.

“We used to go to the mall so someday we had been in there and we went to the ring counter to only store round. And he or she was making an attempt on wedding ceremony rings. I didn’t suppose something about it till after a short time. She says she likes procuring as a result of she likes (wedding ceremony) rings. I feel she was making an attempt to place the seed in my head,” mentioned Doug jokingly.

Shay mentioned, “I’ve all the time been enamored by wedding ceremony rings as a result of they’re huge, gauntly, and diamonds. Wedding ceremony units are huge.  I’ve all the time checked out wedding ceremony ring each time I’m going to the mall.”

Doug recalled going via a life transition when he met Shay. He was enthusiastic about getting severe about his religion and his stroll with God. He needed to be settled and mentioned, “Shay was the whole lot that I wanted at the moment. After I met her, I wasn’t a pleasant man. I used to be imply. I wasn’t a superb boyfriend. I had a horrible angle and a horrible mood. She’s the primary woman I needed to be good to. She made me need to be a greater man.”

Including, “If the girl you might be with doesn’t make you need to be a greater man, she is just not the girl for you. I needed to be a fantastic husband, a fantastic boyfriend as a result of I need her to be glad.

The marriage: First Baptist Woodlawn, there colours had been hunter inexperienced and black. Doug and Shay say the marriage began as an entire catastrophe. It began virtually two hours late.

“The girl who was doing my attire, she waited to the final minute to do the attire, and her machine broke. She was a proficient seamstress who was simply that good that she may wait till the final minute, however the attire didn’t get achieved (in time). She introduced them to the marriage in items,” mentioned Shay.

Regardless of the delays, the reception was enjoyable, and the whole lot ended up coming collectively on the finish.

“it’s not (about) the marriage, it’s (about)the wedding. We ended up (nonetheless) getting married. We had fun. It simply began late, and my bridesmaids stood there of their piece collectively attire with pins nonetheless in them,” mentioned Shay, including, “these are my pals, so we ended up having a superb time. We nonetheless chortle about it. It’s a superb story nonetheless at the moment”.

Phrases of knowledge: “Discover an individual who exhibits how a lot they take care of you by their actions, not simply their phrases. He doesn’t ever need to say he loves me, though he does. I can inform by what he does each day. I can inform by the best way he takes care of us and the household, and to me that’s most necessary. You may inform me you’re keen on me all day, but when your actions say in any other case… Discover any person that treats you the best way you need to be handled. You don’t have to just accept being handled in a different way,” mentioned Shay.

“As I mentioned (earlier than), discover somebody who makes you need to be a greater particular person. I’d additionally say, don’t rush. Know what you need, know who you might be, and store for what fulfills you. Should you date any person and it’s a must to change into one thing to get them, that’s not likely who you might be. It could work for a short time, however chances are you’ll finish of resenting them. What works for us is we’re simply sincere… We’re very related in lots of areas, however completely different in some. We respect the similarities and respect the variations,” mentioned Doug.

Fortunately, ever after:  The Taylors attend Rebirth Christian Fellowship in Heart Level, Alabama the place Doug serves because the pastor, and Shay, first woman and an administrative pastor.  They’ve two kids, Jailyn Darche,26, and Myles Alexander, 22.

Shay, 53, a local of Birmingham, graduated from Woodlawn Excessive College and Jacksonville State College (JSU) and attended Tulane College for her graduate research. She is presently the HR Director of Birmingham Promise, a non- revenue that gives as much as 4 years of tuition help for graduates of Birmingham Metropolis Colleges to attend any public two-year or four-year school or college in Alabama in addition to affords an internship program. She is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.

Doug, 51, a local of Birmingham, is a graduate of Wenonah Excessive College. He attended Tuskegee College and completed his B.S. at The College of Alabama – Birmingham (UAB). At this time he is part of a twin grasp’s program at Loyola College in Pastoral Research. He’s a member of Kappa Alpha Psi.

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