Revenge is a dish finest served chilly – Claiborne Progress

By Jack Godbey

Contributing Columnist

Is there something worse than having a co-worker who eats your lunch out of the breakroom fridge? Since I’m a little bit of a germaphobe, I don’t need anybody touching my meals a lot much less consuming it. My spouse made a pan of selfmade lasagna the opposite night time and all the home attacked it just like the Tasmanian satan on an outdated Bugs Bunny cartoon. In reality, it was all I might do to rescue a bit for my lunch at work the subsequent day. I put it in a container and labeled it “broccoli” pondering that might deter anybody seeking to rob me of the scrumptious deal with. I regarded ahead to lunch all morning solely to search out that after I went to lunch, my lasagna was gone. Yep, the lunch thief had stolen it proper out of the breakroom fridge.

The subsequent day, I introduced a bologna sandwich and to my shock, it too had been a sufferer of the breakroom lunch thief. Lasagna is one factor, however you don’t mess with my bologna. It was time to get my revenge. The subsequent day, I introduced tacos which will or might not have had a filling of Alpo pet food. If certainly one of my co-workers begins barking, I’ll know who the thief is.

I recall as soon as there was an intern at my work who needed to be probably the most annoying human being on the face of the earth. If he wasn’t whistling or tapping his pencil on the desk, he was demonstrating why he was going to be the subsequent nice rapper. As soon as he whipped out the fingernail clippers and clipped his nails in my workplace, I knew it was time for him to go. I instructed him that we have been having an worker occasion and that he ought to go to the shop and buy all the three% milk and seedless strawberries that he might discover. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t seen him since. If anybody sees him wandering round misplaced within the grocery retailer, inform him I neglect so as to add natural pop tarts to the listing.

As I sit and take into consideration revenge, I used to be blissful to recollect a narrative that my mom has instructed me 100 instances about revenge that occurred earlier than I used to be born. My mom had a ringer kind washer sitting on the entrance porch the place she would do the laundry of all her half dozen children or so. My older sister was simply barely sufficiently old to begin speaking and made each step my mom made. Whereas my mom would wash my sister’s garments, she would joke along with her that she was going to throw my sisters garments over the fence simply to observe her throw a match and stomp her little foot and yell, “No!”

My mom took her job of being a mom significantly and did it higher than anybody might hope. Sadly, that job doesn’t pay very effectively, so she would typically babysit different folks’s children for just a little spending cash although she already had a houseful of her personal children to care for. Lastly, she saved up sufficient cash to purchase her a brand new coat that she noticed within the retailer window. She beloved that coat and handled it prefer it was made from gold.

The subsequent day after shopping for the coat, my mom was again at it doing all the children’ laundry and once more she kidded with my sister about throwing her garments over the fence. My sister who usually by no means left her aspect disappeared for a minute after which there she got here dragging my mom’s model new coat throughout the yard and thru the dust saying, “Me throw over fence”. My sister had enacted her revenge.