The Yr of the Possum

The Yr of the Possum

By Jase Graves

In accordance with my intensive analysis (roughly 5 minutes on Google once I ought to have been folding underwear), the Chinese language zodiac system assigns an animal image to every yr. It’s believed that individuals born in a given yr have the persona of that yr’s animal. For instance, primarily based on the placemats at my favourite Chinese language buffet, I used to be born within the Yr of the Canine, which implies I’m loyal, trustworthy and troublesome to housebreak.

Though it has completely nothing to do with the Chinese language zodiac system, I’m hereby declaring this yr to be the Yr of the Possum! The widespread possum (also called the “opossum,””roadkill” or “hissing rat-kitty”) is definitely a marsupial, which means that when possums really feel threatened, they hiss with a powerful Australian accent. They vaguely resemble a small home cat who spent a drunken night time in town with a set of malfunctioning Norelco clippers.

“So why this sudden curiosity in possums?” you in all probability aren’t asking. Inside the previous two months, I’ve had two encounters with these repulsive, but someway endearing creatures.

The primary occurred one night final month whereas my spouse and I have been taking our night geriatric energy stroll. As we walked previous our home, we observed an unidentified furry object on our entrance garden. At first, we thought it is likely to be a bunny, a kitten and even one in all our household doglets who had escaped to the entrance yard to kill the remainder of our grass.

Upon nearer inspection (I made my spouse go look), we found that it was a younger possum ­­– in all probability a teen primarily based on all the sighing and eye rolling. As a result of East Texas was experiencing document warmth and a drought on the time (and since I really feel a kindred connection to all creatures with unhealthy hair) I made a decision to arrange the possum a small dish of water and a handful of kibble pet food.

Once I returned with the meals and water, the possum gave me a half-hearted hiss and revealed in its clutches the carcass of a half-eaten rodent. In different phrases, I used to be like a kind of restaurant servers who attempt to drive a dessert on me after I’ve already stuffed myself. (I often conform to the dessert.)

My subsequent possum encounter occurred a month later when my spouse interrupted my slumber to tell me that there was a possum in our swimming pool/liquid money vortex. Once I requested her if she obtained it out, she mentioned that she thought I ought to do it since she mainly does all the pieces else besides breathe for me. (I am nonetheless making an attempt to determine the right way to flip that over to her, too.)

Once I went exterior, the possum was sitting simply inside one of many skimmer consumption thingies–judging me as a result of he did not like my bathrobe. There was no time to rethink my leisurewear, although, as I sprang into motion, utilizing the pole finish of my dip web to gouge the possum out of the skimmer after which skillfully twirling the pole to scoop him within the web and deposit him over the again fence – whereas chilly possum water streamed down my arm and into my gown.

Though these experiences weren’t altogether nice, it is good to know that our neighborhood has a wholesome ecosystem that helps the native wildlife – even when it has no style in bathrobes.

Graves is an award-winning humor columnist from East Texas. His columns have been featured in Texas Escapes journal, The Shreveport Occasions, The Longview Information Journal, and The Kilgore Information Herald. Contact Graves at (e-mail protected).

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